The New Pornographers

Even in far less ideal circumstances, I’m not one to complain when great music blows through town. On the 21st our stupid little city of Madison Wisconsin will be blessed by super-awesome mostly Canadian almost-mainstream-breakthrough indie supergroup success story The New PERNAGRAPHATES! You know what that means: not-Canadian crook-o-tooth heartthrob Neko Case. That’s her real name!

The only real problem with this band is Dan Bejar. And sonic gaudiness. And their new album. And whoever is next to Neko and Carl here, looking for all the world like the most perfect girl/dude hybrid I’ve ever seen.

Seriously, fuck Dan Bejar.

How did they switch from all their slow songs sucking to the slow songs being the only songs that don’t suck? I don’t know, but I don’t think I like it.

SO THAT YOU DON’T READ THAT AND JUST GO PETE’S SUCH A FAG! STILL! God! AND LEAVE, BOLD CAPS HAVE BEEN FLOWN IN TO WARN YOU THAT THE WORLD’S SECOND GREATEST BAND, OKKERVIL RIVER WILL BE APPEARING ALONG WITH THE NEW PORKTOGRAPHOOLS AND MAY BE JOINED ON GUITARS BY

CHARLES FUCKING MEXICO

The best person currently alive on planet Earth and semi-frontman of the world’s FIRST greatest band, The Wrens. For those who don’t know what time it is, Charles is a conjurer of beauty almost too precious for the vulgar realm of human experience.

I should add that he’s hardly the only big deal here, or even the main draw. He’ll probably either be playing guitar humbly in the background and looking old, or not there at all.

The Pornographers are great, but Okkervil River is about fifty times better than they are. About fifty to sixty times better. If you don’t know who THAT band is, get to know them, and by all life’s beautiful mysteries don’t miss this tour. Unless you’ve got a problem with me. In that case come ready to throw bows.