Sammitch Madness: Officers are in Pursuit…

Of a 6′2″ tattooed white male in possession of what seems to be the thickest, baddest and most bombastic turkey-pepper-mozzarella-barbecue on wheat in the tri-state area.

Bystanders described the sandwich as “truly glorious and terrible.”

A man believed to be repeat cuisine criminal Peter Michael DeWitt was enjoying a delectable spring day when he was spotted by Buggy-Force officers in the area, who immediately gave chase; declaring a “lunchtime emergency.” Suspect is a delicious fugitive in violation of strict statewide sandwich sanctions. He is armed with a lethal array of unlikely flavors and is not to be approached without officer accompaniment.